


Old Habits Die Hard, Ok?

by goddesswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddesswan/pseuds/goddesswan
Summary: Fulfilling the prompt: I kissed you goodbye on accident - old habits die hard, ok?!





	Old Habits Die Hard, Ok?

They’re watching a movie together. In a very platonic, strictly friends way. Because that’s the way they do things now—platonic and friendly, absolutely no intimacy besides the kind that comes with being close, comfortable friends with a person. Hugs and heads leaned on shoulders? Great. The occasional hand holding or cheek kissing? Fine.

A couple weeks before, things would have been different. They wouldn’t have made it twenty minutes into the film with out Emma’s tongue down Killian’s throat or his hand down the front of her leggings. And then after a round or three of some decidedly un-platonic actions, they would lay on the couch, sated, long enough to rewind to a point they both remembered and finish watching.

She had been the one to initiate the turn their friendship took—simply telling him they should have sex after a few too many drinks on a particularly bad date. He’d been hesitant at first. Wanting to wait until she was of sounder mind before taking that step, he put her to bed and told her they could discuss it another time. But all of his reservations flew out the window when she’d shown up at his apartment the next night with a bottle of wine and some lube (which he took out of her hand with a cocky grin and an “I don’t think you’ll be needing this.”)

She started it so it was fitting that she’d end it.

Emma felt that things were progressing into something distressing, a territory moving beyond the friends with benefits boundaries they had set for themselves. Killian’s gazes grew a little too long, a little too longing. And the summersaults being preformed in her stomach were in a league she was unfamiliar with. That, coupled with a few, too close for comfort close calls with David arriving at… unfavorable times, brought her to the conclusion that their relationship should go back to that of the simply friends variety.

Killian had taken it in stride. He’d sat silently through her jumbled rhetoric, observed her nervous expression when she finished, and said “No sweat off my back, Swan. Actually, there will be a lot less sweat on my back now that—” She cut him off with a hand over his mouth and a stern look. And in a brief bought of seriousness, he told her that he was fine with whatever she decided and only wanted her to be happy and comfortable.

She didn’t ignore him, per se, for the two weeks following that conversation but she also didn’t make it a point to reach out to him or really even return any of his calls or texts. But she was a big girl and while things may be awkward, she wasn’t willing to add further strain to their friendship. So after a “Don’t do this, Swan” text and a pep talk she gave herself, she texted him, asking if he wanted to have a movie night.

He kindly accepted, choosing not to question her as to why she’d been ignoring him. Which leads to where they are now, watching Remember the Titans on the couch in his living room, while Emma lies with her feet resting in a seated Killian’s lap, his hand resting on her ankle.

It’s good, comfortable even. The movie is one she’s seen enough times to where she figured it would be a safe choice in case she was too unbalanced to focus but, thankfully, she’s able to focus fine. There is popcorn and candy and they’re both relatively good at remaining quiet during movies, so there’s no awkward conversation.

It feels like what they did before sex got involved. She should have known it would be like this, shouldn’t have spent so much time aggressively ignoring him. Because Killian would never make her feel uneasy and the connection they’ve always had was solid and special.

It’s natural. Too natural.

After the movie ends, Killian shifts, grabbing her feet and standing up from under her before placing them back on the couch. He grabs the empty beer bottles and popcorn bowl, placing them in the sink.

“Alright, princess,” he sighs when he’s once again standing next to her. He takes her hands in his own and pulls her up. “I cherish your company but I also know you have to be up early for a meeting and I don’t dare to come between you and a full nights rest.”

“It’s not that serious,” she argues weakly, already walking to his front door with his hand at her back.

“Right. You’re perfectly good at functioning on little rest,” he says solemnly, opening the door for her. “I must have been thinking of the other Emma. She’s a right terror in the mornings, even with a long amount of sleep.”

He’s obnoxious and obnoxiously adorable so she does what she’s been doing for the past few months and leans forward to kiss him—as a goodbye and a way to shut him up. It’s a nice kiss for all but a matter of seconds before she realizes what she’s doing and that she's not supposed to be doing it.

She pulls back expecting… Well, she doesn’t know. Indignation? Anger? But all she sees is an open mouthed, dazed expression.

“Old habits die hard, ok?” she explains, trying not to appear flustered but she can feel the heat in her cheeks. “I—” She doesn’t have any more words though because she doesn’t entirely have thoughts right now besides what the hell did I just do? So she spins on her heels and walks away, leaving him standing, slightly shell shocked, in the doorway.

He texts her the next morning and tells her that he understands perfectly if she needs space but not to take it on his account, that he realizes that it was just a slip, falling back into a familiar pattern, and he’s not upset. And she just… adores him, with all of his kindness and acceptance and understanding. She wonders if she possibly made the wrong decision in ending their friends with benefits situation. Maybe, instead, she should have done the opposite and progressed it.

Once that thought is in her head, she can’t get it out.

If it were anyone else, she’d be driving herself into a tree rather than entertaining these thoughts. But it’s Killian. So instead of contemplating suicide, she decides she needs to talk to him.

When she shows up at his apartment, unannounced, he appears mildly surprised but opens the door widely and extends his arm in a gesture for her to come in.

“Swan, to what do I owe this surprise?” he asks, the corner of his mouth turned up.

Actions speak louder than words and at this time, she not entirely sure she has the courage to form them. So she does something sure to surprise him even more and kisses him.

It feels right—his lips pressed against hers, his body pressed against hers. She thinks she made the best decision until he puts his hands on her shoulders and gently pushes her away. Leaving her standing frozen, a little bit hurt and a little bit confused.

She thought he wanted this. He was into it before, certainly seemed to be having enough fun. Maybe his feelings have changed. Maybe he’s decided they’re better off friends and nothing more.

She’s two seconds from fleeing when he scratches the back of his neck and grimaces slightly. He opens his mouth, closed it, then opens it again.

“I know it’s habit but I… I really can’t stand for you to keep doing… that,” he fumbles his words, hardly making eye contact and she’s ready to snap at him. Tell him she’s sorry her kisses disgust him. But he continues “I need these lines to stay clear. It was hard enough for me when you put and end to this before. I don’t… I can’t handle that again.”

“Oh,” she says softly.

“I’m sorry, love. I don’t mean to put you on the spot like that.” He smiles weakly.

“I took some time thinking things over after you texted me and I’ve come to a conclusion. I’m going to make these lines as clear as I possibly can. I want to continue kissing you. I want to continue having sex too. I also want to start going out on dates. Well, maybe just one date, enough to make things clear. And I want to start sleeping here more often and leaving shampoo and underwear here. And we can tell David and whomever you want to tell.”

By the time she finishes, his weak smile has turned into a damn near blinding grin. 

“Is that clear enough for you, Killian?”

This time he’s the one attacking her with a surprise kiss. Or surprise kisses, littering her face from the hairline of her forehead to the dimple of her chin, the apple of one cheek to the other, peppering them along her jaw and down the bridge of her nose. “Crystal,” he murmurs before finally settling his lips against hers in a long, hard kiss, backing her up against the open door and shutting it with the force of their bodies. He pats her hips and then moves his hand down, hooking it above the back of her knee to lift her against him.

“Can we start on the continuing to have sex part now?” he asks, breathing hotly against her neck. She can’t see his wicked grin but she can feel it. “To keep things clear of course.”

“Yes but only for the sake of clarity,” she responds rolling her hips against his.

“For clarity.”


End file.
